Passion of Life

OFFICIALLY CLOSED!!

2009-07-14T23:46:00.002+08:00

Had it enough dy. I also don't know what to do. Well, honestly, I'm trying to accept everyone back again, including that guy i hate so much. But seems like some people just don't want to accept me back as friend, so what to do?

To Lucas,

What you said all those you might think it's bullshits to me, actually I've been thinking all this while. Not just right now, or after you told me, is along this whole sem. Yes, you might blamed me for not considering friend's feelings, not sharing their burdens. But, I had enough of what I got for over 1 whole year. I need times to overcome it, i need to overcome myself. Myself, is my biggest enemy. I've lost myself in the sea of people. How can i find myself back and be back like my old self again? I trust no one in us. I can't find anyone i can trust and share everything. The more i trust that person, the more that person backstab me. Humans sometimes not as kind as we think. I had a lot more problems than you think, but it's useless to share to everyone. Later people go gossip around with it and add some stories and in the end spoiling my image badly. I'm hurt badly, can't even protect and care for myself well, do you still think i can go care about them? I don't really care anymore what's going on among our friends, if you guys want me to join for gathering, then i'll just show up, if didn't invite me, i also won't be so thick face to ask to join. I'll show up when i'm needed, and disappeared when i'm not, sounds fair and square. I'm no longer smile at them anymore. Even if you see me smiling at you all, it would be the sorrowful smile. You wish that i can love everyone, but i don't have love in me. I'm no longer in their world. Everyone gave me an hard one, whenever i saw their face, the pain in me were double times coming back to me.
Well, i don't want to say much more anymore, don't want ended up blaming everyone, and then you blamed me back again. It's funny that how things goes. You want me to change, yes i'm willing to give it a try, but, this time, i'll be a quiet and less smile in our gang. I promised you i won't hurt any of your friends, and i shall be. Less talk, less misunderstanding, less burden. That's all to you.

And to all my friends who still reading my blog, i'm closing down my blog now. Coz this blog bringing up lots of problems. Might be create a new one, if do, i'll let you know PERSONALLY. =)

Bye everyone, thanks and sorry too. =)

New blog skin/accidents/dancing...

2009-07-10T11:47:00.004+08:00

Ok...I've been spending 1 whole day to edit my blog skin. And now this is the new skin for my blog. Feeling refreshing after looking at my "new" blog.

But then, I'm not satisfies with this skin, coz the whole thing more the the left side and not in the centre. I tried to adjust it but don't know how. So...I think I might go look for another new skin and edit it.

This is so good to kill my boredom. Spending long time dealing with the HTML codes. Feels like I'm studying programming again, just that this programming is a lot easier than the programmings I've learned in my course.

********

Yesterday afternoon before I start my blog skin project, Annie asked me to read WL's blog. And after I read it, I was so shocked and I can't believed it just happened to a friend who just hang out with us and had movie with us on wednesday night.

When he's driving back home, just at the traffic light outside his house area, a white kancil crashed into him at the driver seat. Of course, it was the kancil's fault coz the owner crossed the red light. Luckily that he's ok, no injuries, just in shock state. But still, after read it, I can imagine how freakin'ly freak out it feels when you were driving as usual and somebody just bumped into you directly to your driver seat. I can imagine that I feel the death is coming after you, just like how my friend felt.

This holidays is total freak out! Coz i keep received news from my friends that this one just got accidents, that one got accidents few days ago...1st, is 1 of my friend's mom, don't know bumped or being bumped, but she's ok. 2nd, another girl friend, bumped into people's car, not serious, just a scratch. Although in the end she no need to pay, but indirectly she got grounded at home, disallowed to drive for...don't know how long. 3rd, my another girl friend, she said she got into 3 accidents within few days in a row. But her last accident was big damage. She bumped into people's car, she need to pay for their damage, and for her own too. However, she's in god condition, don't worry. And finally, my friend above.

It's so scary until I don't feel like going out anymore. But staying at home really turning me into a pig. Eat, sleep, eat and sleep. 1 day I don't know how many times I eat, how many times I sleep. Too bored. Until...

********

Last night, Dyg find me in msn. I don't know why yesterday I spent almost my whole day chatting, coz it's like everyday no chat with anyone at all, coz everyone is bored until no topics to talk about. But yesterday just happened to be everyone chatting ei~ lol

Anyway, let's go back to the topic. Dyg suddenly find me. A bit surprising tho. However... actually, she's going off to Australia next week, going to study at Melbourne Swinburne, not student exchange but going to finish off her course and graduate there. (My engineering girl friends gonna be less 1 girl dy. sob sob...) So before she going off, she wanna settle everything here 1st, including her dance troop. She told me that her dance instructor is lack of dancers, and since she's leaving soon, her dance troop will only left 2-3 dancers. Her instructor is looking for talent dancer who are willing to work hard for it, and she recommended me to her instructor. There's an big event is going to be held during November, and their troop is going to perform. That's why her instructor is looking for dancers so badly.

The class fees of the studio is RM50 per class, 1 class per week, 1 month 4 classes, so total RM200 fees per month. I told her I'm really interested in joining, but I can't afford the fees. Well, I'll be very very sad if I can't have this one and only chance. Coz you also know that I love dancing so much. Oh ya, forgot to let you know that she's a belly dancer. (wiu wit~ lol) But if I'm joining them, I'm not going to learn belly dance la, will be other dance. Hehe...

Answer will be...still considering... =)

********

I'm super hungry now and I wanted to eat KFC now~ so long didn't eat dy. =(

Sleepless night due to real big glass of iced cappuccino. @.@"

2009-07-09T03:01:00.004+08:00

As days passed by, boredom getting serious than ever. Mind start getting empty, and start to simply think.

Yesterday was wednesday, as everyone know, wednesday is movie day. Actually i have no intention to go for a movie, coz recently there's no other nicer movie than Transformers 2. (Although it wasn't that awesome too. -.-) However, in the end, i ended up watching movie with EE friends. Before the movie, me and Angel went to 175 cafe to have a look and had a drink. But then, didn't expect it would be that expensive. Eating nothing much but a very big glass of iced cappuccino (which causes me sleepless right now) and a bowl of mushroom soup with a garlic bread can cost me RM14. Ngaiti~ really killing me! T__T now that i really bankrupt. And so for the rest of the day i can only stay at home grow mushroom. Haiz...

We split into 2 groups, me and 3 more friends watch 'State of Play' while the rest watch 'Transformers 2'. I don't know others but for me, the movie i watched seems a boring movie for me. About politics and lies... I dislike politics, that's all i know. -_-||| How can a life can be that boring until ended up watching boring movies just to kill time? Gosh~ my life is so pathetic ei~

********

Well, there's one thing that had make me so kek xim for long time. It's her. I also don't know why....maybe is it because of she's my friend? But then i really always being kek tiok by her. One thing she did yesterday, was she changed back her facebook profile picture to her old emo "da tou zhao". Well, sorry for being straight forward, but i just can't bare to hide it inside my heart, i just want to say it out here... "Da tou zhao" isn't suitable for you. Or more likely, Ah Lien style doesn't suit you at all. I know that, for quite a time that you've been imitate that girl or her friends' style, trying to be like among them. (Or maybe not, i'm just trying to say out how i feel and think, hope that you don't mind...) Somehow i think that maybe you want to be like her so that you can grab back his heart? As her style is his taste?

One thing i hate about in this styling issue, is that i hate people trying to imitate others and be like them. That is, people wannabe. That's the worst thing that could be in your whole life. Girls should know best of what's their best feature in them and should wisely use it and be their ownself, have their own style. Doesn't it be better that you have your own style until other girls think that you're cool and trying to copy your style instead? Besides, although age is a forbbiden thing to talk about for girls, but somehow, girls should always be aware about it. Even if you or every girls trying to be younger than their looks, also should not be having too big gap until it start to let people think that you'll never grow up, or wannabe which might let people feeling gross. Example, if you're age 22, but you still dress like 18 or 19th? That's so horrible! Realize that we're not teenagers anymore, we're adults, we're young ladies, we're sweet young ladies.

2 days ago, i went to popular bookstore while waiting for my mom. I went to look for books. And saw 1 chinese book which i know that i must read it somehow no matter how. Even all my girl friends who already age 20 and above should read it. I bought it. (Spent money again...haiz...but at least it worth it.)

Ok...let's see what this book about. How come i suddenly mentioned about this book? I think i just write it in chinese as some words i don't know how to translate. So sorry for those who can't understand mandarin. =X

Title: 20岁以后成为魅力女王

From the front cover:
20岁前，你希望自己能是一位公主；
20岁后，你明白自己要去做个女王。
20岁前，青春就是你的魅力来源，
20岁后，你的魅力成分准备好升级了吗？
(Sounds interesting? Not so? Let's continue...)

From the back cover:
很多20多岁女人都有一个坏毛病，总是想知道在对方心中是怎样的印象。其实这是个很可笑的问题，你想，对于别人怎么看自己这个问题，我们不是应该比别人更清楚吗？
(This meaning CONFIDENCE. No confidence in yourself, then you'll lose to every girls that got in your way.)

善于拒绝的女人喜欢思考，哪怕是好友的怂恿，旁人别有用心的劝说，只要违背了她的思想和做人原则，绝不受他人资配合影响。她的人格和思想是独立的，这样女人值得每一个好男人去爱。
(This meaning that, a girl who have independent thoughts and personalities and know how to REJECT everything that offence her principle of life, and never get influence by others who trying to make her fall, will be loved by every single good guy. And this is true.)

不做一个理性到没有情感起伏的冷血女人，也不做一个矿容道可以随便老公外面乱来的可怜女人，制作认真生活，认真去爱的宽容女人。
(I think this one everyone also know la. So i no need to explain much about it. It's about how to treat and control your LOVE.)

Well, the context i'll update for those who interested to know about it. What this book is mainly about is that girls who already 20 and above should be self-conscious about their ages and should not be like teenage girl, everyday dreaming and waiting for prince charming to appear anymore. No more prince charming is gonna get you when you're a young lady now, so should stop dreaming. Instead, girls should work it out for themselves, make themselves to be more attractive than before, treat themselves wisely and make their life better than before. Make yourself a beautiful queen so that handsome king will come for you. LOL! All this is gonna review the context inside the book. Should not have say it much more. So stay tune if you wanna know more. =)

********

Oh well, it's almost 5am in the morning now. Should get some sleep or else i really became an night owl. That's not good. I still want my beauty face. LOL. I know i know i aren't pretty so don't puke. XD Good night sweetie. =D ;P

I'm just as weak as every girl...

2009-07-05T01:52:00.004+08:00

Is it possible that i ended up back to my 1st love in the future? I don't know, and i don't want to think about it, coz i'm scared, i'm scared of facing disappointment when i'm giving too much hope...

Recently people around me asking do i have new bf or not, 1 is 2nd ex's friend (who had gf dy) asked, another 1 is my 1st love. He's chatting with me on msn right now. He's leaving later, 9am flight, back to Pahang study. This time we didn't have the chance to meet up. He said sorry to me, but i felt strange somehow. I'm not used to hear sorry from him. Maybe because....last time he seldom say sorry to me when we didn't meet up? I also not sure.

Listening to slow love songs now...rather emo songs. But my heart start crying again...i don't like myself being like this. I hate being emo. I want to be happy. I want to be tough. Everyday I'm trying hard to live happily and take care of my friends who aren't in good situation or emo-ing. Inside club, i'm like a elder sister, taking all the kids, be there when they facing problems in their life, be counselor for them, be a supporter for them. As for my EE friends, i don't know how am i supposed to face them. What i feel from them is just that, they doesn't need me at all. I mean, i am nothing for them. Even asking those who are free to come out also hard to get them out. But then...if i do go out with them, me and them got nothing much to talk and share about too. Me and them are like strangers, trying to get some talks, but still, we're living in a different world. We ended up i'm enjoying in my own world and they enjoying in their own world. I have lost faith, passion, trust and trust in them. Feel like they're no longer in my life, and when they trying to come back into my life into my world, it's hard for me to accept it, because i just can't...

I'm always the supporter, the listener, the counselor, the advicer to others, i always seems to be a tough and strong person to others, but deep inside me, i'm just as weak as the rest. I'm only human. I need shelter, need support, need to be listen, need advices in all my actions. I ever told 'A' that i'm no more interested in finding a bf or looking for cute handsome guys. I told her i'm not expecting any guys popping out in my life. Well, deep deep deep inside, i only hope for a guy who is strong enough, warm enough, nice enough and sweet enough to take care of me. I just need a warm and tough shoulder to lay on when i'm tired. I need a companion who always accompany no matter where i am, give support to me, give advice to me when i needed it, and never will let me drop a tear. I'm only waiting for this person to appear in my life, and that's all what i wish for...

Sad of friends treating me like that...

2009-06-16T19:04:00.008+08:00

A bunch of good friends can turns into like that. It somehow pathetic. I used to love all of them, hang around with them, have fun with them, do fun things together. However, i felt myself being pushed away by them. I don't know how much did they talked bad about me. And it hurts when you actually heard how and what they talked bad about you...

This sem really teruk until tiam tiam. Last sem is "J", until this sem comes 2 "J"s, then suddenly popped out "A", then another "A" again...then slowly slowly virus infecting everyone. They all came at the same time, and i'm just a human, i'm not God, and not a real Devil either, why don't they understand the pains and sufferness when you have to take them all down together once? For those who ever had a real relationship before should understand the pains, and for those who never in it before, should try to step in people's shoes and support them, and not destroying them from sideway.

I felt that i have changed...changed in the point of views and thoughts compare between last time and right now. Last time I'm just like kids, never think about others, want to do anything just do only, shout out loud, embarrassing ownself and don't even mind about it, kept assuming people treating me bad just because they did it on purpose and hates them for life. I never try to understand how people feel and think. Until lots of things happened to me since last sem until now, it has been half a year already, bad things happened to me. I would never hurt any of my friends, as long as they are considered as friend to me. Even though it takes to exchange happiness, i would rather hurt myself than hurting them. Hurting them hurts me more. I dislike that feelings. I treasure friendships a lot, because even though i failed in my relationship life, i still have a bunch of good friends to feel good together. I'm not desperate for relationship, but desperate for friendship.

I called a few of them during critical time for several time, they didn't even pick up my phone. If i were last time, i'll pissed off very badly and angry with them and assumed that they don't want to pick it up on purpose. But now, i only will take that as they are busy with their own reports, or left their phone in the bag, car, or home. This is not an example, but it did happened when i tried to find them, in the end no one is picking up the phone. so? what to do? Me and "A" can only work on reports on our own. And there's another girl, who also happened to be like the old past time me, got angry just because i didn't pick up the phone. Well, i just want to do a small explanation about that day only, i'm out with my friend for a lunch, we just reached the center town, going to have lunch, then she messaged me, i replied, then we continue to walk to a cafe, after that i want to check out the time on my phone, took out my phone, saw 2 misscalls, 1 from her, 1 from "A". She called me 1st, then "A" called, in the misscall list, her name is below "A"'s name, so indirectly i called "A" back 1st before call her back, mana tau...my innocent call became my crime ki. -_- I teruk kena blamed, and being asked to do the report alone. That time i was really pissed, and i didn't even had my lunch with my friend yet, my friend have to send me back to uni liao. I had promised my friend that i'll have lunch with him long time ago, and in the end i broke my promise. Until now i still very paiseh to my friend, felt so guilty. However, after i finished the report the next day, i choose to forgive her, because i know that she's very frus and stress with all the works, and whenever she's stressed, she'll blown up like a volcano. Sorry to say you like that but that's the reason that me and "A" really really scared of you right now, not that we don't want to peduli you, is we really scared off.

This morning i just had my embedded exam. Yesterday i went to find my another group of friends to have group study, the room was opposite the one that i always used for group study for passed few days. When i walk till the room, i saw they(my batch's friends) all group study in that room, so i was trying to be nice to go in and say Hi to everyone since they all saw me dy. Mana tau...when i go into the room, they all look at me quietly, with different kind of look in their eyes, as if i'm some kind of an alien to them. They all suddenly became so quiet, while riady at 1st don't know i went in, continue talking on his own, until he felt so weird why everyone suddenly so quiet, then he look back, and saw me, and just wave at me with a smile. Haiz...can you see how pathetic our friendship is? I have become nothing for them anymore. So i just walked out of the room and joined my another group of friends.

Today afternoon, met "L" in the open lab, then after that not long, "S" came in, but she peduli pun tidak peduli me. Never like last time, even i'm not close to her, she'll still be friendly with me, at least comeover me here and asked how was the exam and smile at me. Now no more dy. Well, when a friend who used to be your friend, right now still your friend, and future will be friend too, not smiling at you, not even peduli you anymore, that is so hurt...Why friends can become like that? I really really scared of everyone of them already. Scared and anti them. I have been isolated from their gang. 3 girls "A", "A" and "S", who that i ever be proud to have them as friends in my course, no more treating me good dy.

Before and after the embedded exam, I don't even dare to look at them, even though i look at them, they will never look back at me dy. That hurts...it hurts everytime i want to get their attention, but being rejected by not even looking at me, that's why i don't want to look at them anymore. Fear has been getting bigger inside me. I'm so scared. I give warm to friends, but friends gave me coldness.

What i can do now is just accept what friends had gave me, since they are forever my friends no matter what, and forgive them for what they did, and forgive myself for any mistakes that i had done...and will start to be as quiet as i can so not to make anymore misunderstanding...

IT SUCKS!!!

2009-06-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

This sem damn sucks. Sucks until i feel myself gone drowning inside the deep blue sea. Why? Why is it like that? People around me start to disbelieve in me. It hurts... because i did tried as hard as possible, but some other person just too scared of people around treating her like everyone treating me. She tend to do all the works by herself until people thought i didn't do work at all. I did find her everyday, every now and then, then asked her which part should i do, but she never tell me but ignored me and continue doing her works. Misunderstanding of what kind of person i am really hurts.

Still got 2 more years to go, and how am i gonna survive with it? with everyone? i know people talk bad behind my back. I think after this sem, my road will be a lot tougher than ever, and i still have to walk on it. I'm really struggling hard, really hard, damn hard, fucking hard. Fighting over my emotions, fighting over my feelings, fighting over my mind, fighting over my own self. Hurts and injuries everywhere. I'm always disguished myself, until i'm going to breakdown soon. I really meant it and seriously meant it, I'm going to be mentally breakdown.

I'm seriously begging for a break....

Things happened fast, and i lost myself into it

2009-03-31T00:11:00.004+08:00

This sem really is a hard sem for me. Subjects getting harder, lots of things happened, and i seems to lost myself into it.

*****

One of my friend had just broke up with her bf. (Who dumped who?) Of course is the girl dumped the guy, because that guy betrayed her and having another girl at other uni, but yet, that guy don't want to let go of her. So meaning, he want to 1 leg on 2 boats. Things happened quite fast. 4 years of relationship vanished just like that. And that guy don't even bothered some more. Currently, although both of them were in broke up mode, but the guy still bugged her everyday, begging her to go back to him. However, it's really impossible to do that. The girl so loyal to him, but he hurts her heart and betrayed her, how could possibly be back together again? Even we all as her friends, also does not support her going back to him. He is just a useless guy already (like someone else...). He just a guy who like to sweet talk to cheat girl's feelings and heart. Well, right now, we all just hoped that she can get over with it, though 4 years of relationship but got vanished just like that is really hard to get through with. Jia You bah our friend, you still have your bright future! ^^

*****

Embedded Microcontroller, Circuits and Electronics 2, Engineering maths 3B and IC Design, sometimes sounds hard, sometimes not, but still, it's hard. -.- Wanted to gain back my cgpa points aren't easy job. Some more, with the enemy that i really extremely hated so much, who had terribly spoiled my image in uni, who were hated by girls so much too, i don't know how to face it. Every moment my super enemy appeared, my mood, my life got screwed up. That enemy really doesn't know how to give respect to girls. My friend were right, he is a CHAUVINIST!!! He talked about girls like materials, look at girls like materials, treat girls like materials. And that's the fact that he has no gf until now. Which girls wanted to be with a bf like him? There's so much about him but i can't tell much here 'cause he's inside my friend's lists and he has my link too. So, imagine every single day i have to face a person like him. Do you think my life can get any better?

*****

There's a guy, who really messed up my life too. (I think lots of guys always mess up my life, just don't know why -.-) Although i told him for thousand times that i'm not going to have any relationship with any guys anymore, not even in my future. He still always asked me out, be around me, chat with me if got chances, and even tell his friends that both of us has been out together many times. -.- So meaning??? I'm his gf?? Hell No Way!! I really enjoyed my single life very much, spend times with friends, hang around with friends, then after that with my family...but i just don't want to have bf. Because having a bf really bothersome, and also i don't want to be hurted anymore. Someone had broken my heart into pieces, very tiny pieces until i cannot find back each of the tiny broken pieces. I have been hurted from my 1st relationship, until the 2nd relationship which is the worst, and so, i don't want to be hurt for the 3rd time anymore. Although i look tough and strong, but inside i'm too weak to take it. So guys out there, i can be your very good friend, but nothing more than friends ok? Please....=.= and i hope this guy, don't push me too hard. I can hardly breathe already. I can break down anytime. Hope you'll understand. =.=

*****

I missed my Dance Club, my dance friends, my dance crew. It seems like they started to abandon me, as i no longer go for the weekly dance practice. The present President seems unhappy with me for not attending the weekly practice. She did not peduli saya today when i met her, daniel and keong at cafeteria. It really upset me, but i have to accept the fact. Most of the time, i was thinking about the reasons why i did not go for the practice, and i think maybe because of i don't like to mixed around with the juniors. I'm the quiet type of person during the dance practice, and i just wanted to learn and practice seriously, but you know, usually people will just wanted to have some fun during the practices so that it won't be boring. They joke and laughed and would not be serious in practice, that's why i don't like. And some more, i don't like to be focus on too. Well, they had a performance during last saturday(2 days ago), and they said it's good, and i felt so sad. I'm not inside one of them performing. I really got upset. I love dancing. haiz...

*****

Well, day after day, my days getting worse and worse, and i don't know how worse will it continue going, and i really scared i'll break down any moment. I am so over stressed.

Quizzes

2009-03-22T01:28:00.003+08:00

Sorry for being so long to update my blog since..... half a year ago? Lolz...Well i've took some quizzes from facebook. Let's see what's my results...

1 >> "What kind of girl are you?"
Result: Cool hottie
You're cool and outgoin, a likeable person. You don't care about the world, you do
what you wish to, wheathere somebody likes it or not.
(Do you think so? I wonder....but Alice agreed on it. -.-)

2 >> "what type of dance style are you?"
Result: Jazz
Fast moving and loves to kick, jump and twirl!
(Well...i definitely like to kick, jump and especially TWIRL! lolz...)

3 >> "What 2008 Song Are You?"
Result: Break the Ice
Cuz I Wanna Break The Ice! You're "Break The Ice"! You Are Confident, Strong, and You Let Nobody In Get In Your Way! You Are A Badass! Break the Ice!
(although 2008 song seems to be outdated, but...really??? i wonder....)

4 >> "Who is Your Twilight Guy? "
Result: Edward Cullen
You are Edward's Bella. He's your Match..
(OMG!! I love Edward so much!!! I really like him so much, i fell in love with him. haha...)

5 >> "What type of shoe defines you?"
Result: Cowboy boots
You take a more practical outlook on life and not let trivial inconveniences get you down. You know when it's time to get your hands dirty and when it's time to kick ass!
(I KNEW IT!! Boots does suit me! why people think i look weird in it? I do love boots, but do
i look weird in it? o.O)

6 >> "What is your color?"
Result: White
You are pure, peaceful, and kind. You are independent and you manage in your life independently.
(Also my favorite color~~ LOL.)

Some of it quite 'zhun', but some are....i dont know. hahaha...i'll do other quizzes next time. >.<

What Marketing means...

2008-06-18T10:28:00.001+08:00

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's very rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.'
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback

SDsC Dance Party 2008

2008-04-19T17:38:00.025+08:00

12th April 2008 is a memorable day for me. It's because SDsC had achieved our dream, of having a dance party. It really is a successful party, and EVERYONE does enjoyed it a lot. lawl~

Ok, now, let's see some photos that my friends had taken during that night..

The party is going to start and our OC is talking there.

Can see that everyone is listening to the music band from the Music Club.

And this is the music band from the Swinburne Music Club.

Can see!! Our party does not allowed alcohol and drugs! (The 1st notice) So, for those 3 lecturers, this is the proof. Why don't believe us? Still want us to cancel it last minute? Luckily we didn't cancel it or else you 3 have to double pay back to all the students who had bought the tickets.
2nd and 3rd notices just asking you to be aware and careful during the party. Luckily nothing happen in the end. That's one of the good news. Lolzzz...

And here...3 of these photos shows that we all start dancing like crazy. And also, really looks like clubbing tho... XD

Besides, we also snap some "other" photos during the party...wakakaka..

Just look at Salim and Dara only, the girl at the left, just ignore. (Sorry ya Pamela, we're just want to focus on them.. :p) Salim and Dara, loving couple~~ XD

And here is the Poppin' Keong, like to act cool.lolzz...

Hey~ who took this photo ha?? want to die is it?? why took it when i'm looking around for handsome guys?? LAWL~~~

Here are dance battles between pro - dancers. It's so cool. The most cool parts is the breakdance battle, unfortunately no one took that. haiz...

After the dance party, everyone was wet, because we all kena poured water by someone who suggested this idea of pouring water onto our OC, ko lian our OC. Then the rest, 1 by 1 kena. haha...

(cool post)

(cute post- eeiiwww...a bit disgusting right? lolz)

All the so-called 'b-boys' were doing airchair, with our 'DanceSport! SDSC' at the back. Oh Yeah~~ SDsC ROCKZZZ!!! >.<
Me and a guy named Delvin.

Well, i know all these photos does not satisfies you all yet. I'll try to upload all the videos, there are too many videos to upload and yet uploading one video takes a long long time. :S sienzzz...

I'll post the videos as soon as possible. So stay tunes... >.<>.<

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

2008-03-29T17:12:00.005+08:00

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
for the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
and everyone's looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

(Pre-chorus)
But I don't care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

(Chorus)
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
than the rush that comes
With your embrace
and in this world of loneliness
I see your face
yet everyone around me
Thinks that i'm going crazy,
maybe, maybe

*Repeat pre-chorus

*Repeat chorus

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
for everyone to see

*Repeat pre-chorus

*Repeat chorus

友情就那么的便宜吗？

2008-03-26T21:50:00.003+08:00

有时，我在怀疑，我身边到底有没有真诚真心的朋友。。。

想到今天跟我的朋友“小吵”了一下，害得我连午觉都牺牲了。他就是那么固执的人，每次我想讲出我的想法，他都会在我开口之前前0.1秒讲出他所有的道理来压制我，好让我永远的败在他的“口”里。感觉上好像他永远不会接受别人的意见，除非你能说出所有能说服他到五体投地的理由道理咯。。。

他说我。。永远都不会为自己所犯下的错误认错的，说我永远都在为自己的错找理由。其实，我并不是在为自己找理由，当我被人说我做错的时候，当然第一时间的反应是不知道错在那里而且会在那里研究错的过程。如果当真我错了，我一定一定会认错。但是，有时候我并没有错，但是他却没给我机会解释就定下一句, "你永远不会承认自己的错。” 就那么的快，判我死刑。

然后接下来的一句非常伤我的心，他说，"我以后不需要你的帮忙。” 这句话的来源是因为他要我帮忙他找歌，但我找不到而跟他确定一下他给的资料而已，然后“小吵” 一下，那句话就出现了。这是多么伤了我对他的友情，而他就那么轻松的说出口，可见友情对他来说是垃圾吧。。。

还好在我非常伤心的时候，我的他终于出现了。。在他的安慰之下，我的心情很快就好了。他不愧是我的救星。哈哈！谢啦！！ >.<

=.= tired tired and endless tiredness

2008-03-23T01:57:00.003+08:00

It's 1.58am in the morning now and i'm so damn tired and sleepy, why all my works still undone even though i try so hard to finish it? aduh~~

Looking through my msn list, seems like i'm waiting for someone to online even though there's many people online. But i don't know who am i waiting to online...my best friend in Singapore? or my best friend in Miri? or him who is in Pahang now? The only person i can chat with now is my cousin who study at melbourne swinburne. She also piak kin to finish her assignments. haiz...

Listen to Backstreets' Boys' songs now...i love them so much, their songs was just nice to listen. I'm getting more tired and tired now.. Now i was thinking, why i cannot tahan the tiredness one? Always think of sleeping sleeping and sleeping while on the other hand i also keep thinking of the time passes super duper FAAAAASST~~~~ and that makes me cannot finish all my stuffs always and always and always. Aduh~~

My life started too fade up now.. the colors of my life is fading up too.. i'm starting to feel bored every single day. Where's my heart?? Where had my heart gone to?? Ok.. i know where is it now, it's at the outdoor activities there. I so want to play and have fun for a moment.

K lah.. i off liao.. zzzzz....

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留

2008-03-13T22:12:00.004+08:00

This story have been reappear again.. after me and his story end... i really like this story, and few days ago my friend had asked me to read this story, and i never thought i would read this story again..

~~树~~
高中三年交过五个女朋友，有一个女孩子，我很爱她，却迟迟不敢追，她没有美丽的面孔，没有姣好的身材，没有撩人的魅力，一个再平凡不过的女孩子。

我喜欢她，真的真的很喜欢她，喜欢她的单纯，她的直率，她的可爱，她的脆弱。不追她的原因，也许是潜意识觉得平凡如她配不上我；也许是因为怕在一起后，一切好感都会消失；也许是怕外人的指指点点伤害了她；也许是觉得，她会是我的，不急着为了她而放弃一切。最后这个原因，让她陪了我三年，让她看着我和别的女孩子厮混了三年，让她心痛了三年。

她很想当一个好演员，但我却像一个严苛的导演。我和第二个女朋友在厕所接吻，被她撞见，她尴尬的笑笑说：「Go on！」然后跑掉，第二天，她眼睛肿得像核桃一样，我故意不去猜想是谁让她哭成这样，嘲笑了她一天，她在所有人都回家后，在教室哭了起来，她不知道练球回来拿东西的我，看了她一个多小时。

我的第四个女朋友，一直很不喜欢她，有次她们两个吵了起来，我知道依她的个性不会去惹事，但我还是护着女朋友，她被我吼了一下后，愣住，眼泪滑了下来，我无视她的眼泪，陪女友走出教室，

第二天，她依旧嘻嘻哈哈的和我开玩笑，我知道她很难过，但她不会知道我的心不比她好受。当我和第五个女朋友分手时，我约她出去玩，玩了一天，我对她说：「我有事要对妳说。」

她说：「真巧，我也有事要对你说。」「我和她分手了。」「我和他在一起了。」我知道「他」是谁，

他追她也有一阵子了，是个蛮可爱的男孩子，活泼有趣，充满了热情，追她追得满城风雨。

我不能表现自己的心痛，只能笑笑地恭喜她，但当我回到家，心中的痛楚强烈得令我无法承受，

像有个千斤重的石头压在我胸口，我无法呼吸，想大叫却叫不出来，眼泪竟然滑了下来，我掩面大哭，

多少次，我也看着她为了那个不愿承认的人掩面大哭。
毕业典礼时，我在手机上发现了一封简讯，这是十天前，我掩面大哭时传来的，只是我一直没有去开过机。

「叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。」

~~叶子~~
高中时，喜欢搜集叶子，why？因为我觉得，一片叶子要离开它长期依赖的树好勇敢哩！高中三年，我和一个男孩子很好，不算男女朋友那种好，是好朋友那种好，但是，在他交第一个女朋友时，

我学会了一种不该有的感觉，吃醋，心中的酸，不是一颗柠檬可以比喻，那就像是100颗臭酸的柠檬，酸到不行，

他们只在一起两个月，当他们分手，我还得掩饰自己心中强烈的喜悦，但是一个月后，他和另一个女孩子在一起。我喜欢他，也知道他喜欢我，可是，他为什么总是不追我呢？明明喜欢彼此，为什么不行动？

每当他交一个女朋友，我就心痛一次，一次又一次的打击，让我不禁怀疑，是我一厢情愿吗？不爱我，

为什么要对我那么好？他对我的好，已经不是普通朋友可以做到。喜欢一个人，好难过，我可以清楚的知道他的喜好，

他的习惯，唯独他对我的感觉，我猜不透，难道要我这个女孩子去开口吗？尽管如此，我还是想在他身边，关心他，陪他，爱他，也许算是一种等待的行为，等待他回来爱我，

就像每天晚上等他的电话，等他的简讯，我知道，就算他再忙，也会拨出一些时间给我。这样的等待，

陪了我三年，等待是难熬的，是令人想放弃的，但等到的那一剎那，让人第二天会继续等下去。这样的煎熬，

这样的痛苦，这样的幸福，这样的矛盾，陪了我三年。直到三年级下学期，高二一个学弟喜欢上我，每天的热情追求，令我从一开始的拒绝，

渐渐愿意挪出我心房的一些位置给他。他像一阵温柔而持久的风，撩拨我这片摇摇欲坠的叶子，

到最后，我发现我已经不想只留一点点的位置给这阵风，我知道这阵风，会带我这片伤痕累累的叶子，到更幸福的地方。于是我离开了树，树只是笑笑，没有挽留。

「叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。」

~~风~~
因为我喜欢的女孩子叫叶子，因为她有一棵令她依恋的树，所以我要当一阵风，一阵呵护她的风。第一次看见她，是高二我转来一个月后的事，个子小小的她坐在球场旁，一双眼凝视着同和我在球场的学长，

每天的社团时间，她总会坐在那里，一个人，和朋友，她的眼光依旧凝视着他，当他和女孩子打打闹闹，她的眼中有泪，

当他看向她，她的眼中有笑。看她成了我的习惯，就像她爱看他。有一天她没来，我心中没来由的焦虑与不安，我无法解释那种感觉，除了不安，还是不安，而且那学长竟然也不在。我冲去他们教室，躲在外面，看着学长骂她，她的眼泪，他的离去。第二天，她依旧坐在场边，看着他，我走过去，对她笑一笑，拿了张纸条给她，她先是惊讶的看着我，然后笑笑地收下。隔天，她拿着纸条出现在我面前，然后离开。
「叶子的心太沉重，风吹不动。」不是叶子的心太沉重，是叶子根本就不想离开树。」
我回给她这段话后，她渐渐会和我说话，收我的礼物，接我的电话。我知道她喜欢的不是我，

但我还是有毅力一定要让她喜欢上我，四个月内我告白了不下20次，每一次她都转移话题，但我还是不会放弃，

我决定要的人，我就一定会给它追过来！一直到不知道第几次的告白，出了口，虽然知道她一定会又说到别的事，但还是有一丝丝希望她的答应，没想到她都不说话，「妳在干嘛？怎么不说话？」我对着话筒说。「我在点头。」「啊？」我不敢相信自己的耳朵。
「我在点头！」她大声叫。
我甩掉电话，匆匆披上一件衣服，上了机车，冲去她们家按门铃，当她开门的那一剎那，紧紧抱住她。

「叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。」

My 1st performance for the degree intake 08 orientation

2008-02-24T10:07:00.012+08:00

hey, everyone. Paiseh paiseh i have been a long time didn't update my blog. Recently being very very very busy.

Well, yesterday is our Swinburne degree intake 2008 orientation day. And all the clubs given a chance to perform or have a talk on the stage and setting up the booth in the auditorium. Also, obviously our DanceSport Club will perform a dance. hehe...

Oh well, you can see that i'm the lousiest dancer among all of us. That is because i've only start practise and only practise in just one day, that is during friday. I'm so lack of attitude. Oh gosh..well, just don't care so much liao lah...if i say too much then someone will say me did not appreciate it. LOLZZ!! Oh ya, by the way, this is my first performance. However, i'm still not satisfy with it. (K k k k....don't talk about my lousy performance again, i still appreciate it ok? Duh~~)

And below is my 6-steps, one of the breakdance move.

Extreme boring class~~

2008-01-06T12:23:00.000+08:00

This is our summer sem class.

And after 1 hour, somebody start to sleep on the table....

While, Daniel kept on kacau Angel because too bored...

A week later, even us also start to sleep in the class...XD

Here are the style of us(except me, because camera lady cannot take her own sleeping photo, hahaha...) sleeping.

Daniel totally slept on the table...

Meng Hong looks like he is reading a book, but~~~ actually he is sleeping. XD

This is the way Angel slept. hehe....

Want to see my sleeping photo?? Next time lah...lolx~~

My name meanings~~

2008-01-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

Aiyo...just woke up and got nothing to do except facing the computer and read friends' blogs. Well, i viewed Angel's old blog (actually she hasn't update her blog oftenly, lol), and found out that there is a website that tells the meaning of your name. And so, this is the meaning of mine...

Amy, beloved "French"

Peaceful, poised and understanding you do not let anyone or anything disturb your innate calm. You are tolerant of others no matter how their behaviours or beliefs differ from your own. Not attached to material or worldly affairs you are free to express your true self. Displaying great wisdom and serenity people are naturally drawn to you for guidance and counsel. Your courage and presence of mind see you through any adversity.

Tan

A strong leader with a powerful influence and executive ability you exude determination, discipline and effort. Financial success is very likely because of this. People follow you because you are inspirational and original yet still realistic. Your ambition, courage and drive means that you rarely give up on a goal and with your sound judgement, organisational skills and resourcefulness you are able to accomplish anything.

Amy Tan

Balanced and fairminded you possess the ability to use sound reason and judgement when determined and decisive action is required. Persuasive and logical you tend to be an influential figure in your circle of friends and associates. You are extremely adaptable and this is necessary as you seem to be continually being presented with decisions of a life altering nature.

hmm...from above, my comment is..... Don't Know!!! XD

Sad...

2007-12-31T00:27:00.000+08:00

Finally I got my puppy to my house. At first, i was so happy, because i love dogs so much. But after my dad saw it, here comes the bomb-ing in my house and you can imagine how's my house moving and shaking. hahaha...

Oh well, my dad very choosy about dog breed. And the puppy is just a very very very ordinary normal dog. Plus, neighbours who are dog haters memang banyak complaints. Aduh... so in the end my dad disallow me to have one unless it's the special breeds, you know, like furry one lah, small type one lah...

So eventually i'm very sad and frustrated right now (now is 12.30am) and i just don't feel like going to sleep even though my eyes are so heavy now. I'm thinking, again. My bad habits, which whenever i get emo i'm sure will start to think a lot, and then it'll take a whole night long before i can get over it. Sometimes...i just feel like crying when i'm helpless. God, please help me~~ T_T

Outgoing to Santubong beach

2007-12-13T10:05:00.000+08:00

Aiyo....i'm so damn tiring now. My whole body's muscle felt painful the moment i woke up this morning.

Yesterday me, Angel, Daniel and Meng Hong go to Santubong beach. But both me and Angel really pity 'cause kena bullied by Daniel and Meng Hong. Both of them trick us to go down to the sea. They brought us far into the sea where the water level is around my waist, and then what we do is play with the waves. Walao eh~~~ when the big waves came, i kena bawa along with the waves to the seashore. That's crazy!! And most of the time i terminum the sea water and my eyes were so painful because soaking with the sea water.

This is the Santubong Beach:

This is Meng Hong doing his expert moves >>> c-walk, but didn't sempat to take the moves because he stopped at the moment i took the photo. haha...

You can see from the photo that he's kinda fit but trust me, he's not. He has buncit perut. wakakaka....

And daniel were really crazy and you know what he do in the sea? He danced in the sea. Totally crazy! Too bad i didn't take his photos when he was dancing in the water. It's funny. And Meng Hong also funny where he practice his waving in the sea along with the waves. hahahaha....

And here is Daniel try to trick Angel to go swimming in the sea, while Meng Hong berpura-pura don't know what happen...hahahaha...

And i'll NEVER forget what both Daniel and Meng Hong did to me....they pakat together and carry me up and throw me into the sea, and that's not all... you know how rough they did to me? They really threw me into the sea without any consideration and my butt hit onto the sand ground under the sea and leave a "tattoo" on my butt. It's really painful. Until now my butt still painful. Aduh~~~ these guys arh....really not gentleman at all. Stupid stupid stupid!!! And some more you know what they say after throwing me into the sea? They said i'm very heavy. What the... =.= I'm only 40-43kg nia...how can i be that heavy? I think the problem is that these guys had no strength lah...so they blame me for being this heavy. hahahaha.... Meng Hong, I really think you should build up your muscles instead of build up your buncit perut. *rofl*

Now my skin is getting darker than before. Die lor....i became so dark liao, what should i do? Even though i don't mind being dark skinned, but also got limit in getting dark mah. Now i can see sunburn scars on my arms. Pretty girl became ugly girl liao... *sob sob sob...*

But still sayang that i didn't took a lot of funny pictures because of those two guys lor. nge nge want me to go down to the sea. Even when i've been throwing into the sea also they didn't take the pictures. Apalah...that's why i offer to become the camera lady. You both arh....teruk betul!!

At night we haven't go back home oh, instead, we go watch movie, "The Golden Compass". It's a nice movie but most of the time we were imagine and make fun about some of our friends, like Wilson and Kelvin. 'cause in the movie, all humans have daemons. And Kelvin is like the Ferrel and Wilson is like the polar bear. But both of them really look like Ferrel and polar bear because of their usual behaviours. hahahaha...

Well, that's all for now. But i'll never forget both of you for giving me the "tattoo" on my butt, Daniel and Sim Meng Hong!!!

Bored bored bored!!!!

2007-12-11T18:53:00.000+08:00

Today soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired lar~~~

This morning i went for the LAN subjects registration, walao eh~~~~ all the classes were night class, what the heck?... then what should i do in the morning? find some jobs? but really can't find jobs that really suits me. Or rather i don't know which type of jobs suits me. hahahaha....

This noon i went for dance practice as i really don't have things to do. I think the only thing that i can 'waste' my time were dancing. However, it's getting bored when there's few of us go for practice. Well, we practice at the lake park there. Kinda crowded during the evening time. Can see all the uncles and aunties, athletes and kids jogging there. Some more i even saw an uncle jogged with his Rottweiler. COOL~~~~!!!! XD

Imagine...i jogged at the lake park there with my Golden Retriever. Cool yeh~~~ hahahaha....really wish to own one. haiz....

Don't know why today whole day kena marah by my mom. Sienz....something wrong with me yeh....what's wrong with me? tell me. haiz....

Anime Gathering ->> Butler and Maid

2007-12-08T11:27:00.000+08:00

Hi hi, I'm back!! Very very paiseh after so long baru update my blog. The only main reason for the late update because of my brother because he always spend most of the time in front of the computer moding. If i didn't let him use nanti dia mau cari gaduh lagi...sickening...

By the way, i have lotsa things to update but let's start from the latest one lah...last night SAMS were having an Anime Gathering. I think it's the first Anime Gathering in Kuching, but last night kinda small amount of people came, but it's still ok. We still having some fun. Hehe.

And this is the ticket for the Anime Gathering:

However, there is something i was erm....kek tiok about...we were having a game which need to collect things which was mentioned, and this ticket is one of it, but they didn't gave us when we entered the gathering. So it's kinda not fair ler....!!! Ian~~~ is this on purpose?? *angry* wakaka...

This were their cosplay...wakaka...

And this is the perfomance they had and i only manage to took it from the half way, it also might be a bit blur 'cause i don't know what happen to my camera phone... hehe...

And here is the forum "anime versus mangga", and my dearest friend, ei chi, were in it and she's defense for the manggas. haha...

You see both sides never give up defense to their own opinion, yue fight yue hiong oh...hahaha...

However, after this forum finished i went home liao, so don't know what they are having after that, too bad. But if you wanna look for more pictures for it, you can go http://iveanime.org to their websites. They have a lot of good camera mans and the photos' or videos' quality are a lot better than mine. hehe ^^

Oh ya, nearly forgot about the anime figures. This is some of the anime figures' collections from anime fans.

*Those guys are rich hor, you know how much it cost for a figure? XD*

Kiss (korean singer)

2007-11-25T17:37:00.000+08:00

This MV really beautiful and touching...hope you like it too.

1st paper already like what...

2007-11-19T13:21:00.000+08:00

I hated it!! Why is it like that? I had study very very extremely hard for this stupid maths, but why i still can't do it? I'm so miserable right now. I hate myself, why can't i be more smarter? Then i can answer all the questions without any doubt.

Miserable miserable....MisEraBLe~~~~~

My 20th Birthday!!!!

2007-11-17T23:19:00.000+08:00

hmm...actually nothing special la...but for me today is very special lor, coz it's the day i was borne to this world, if i'm not being borne on this day, you wouldn't know me right now. LOL!!

Well, i'm very happy to received a very precious present from both of my best friends, Jessie and Amelia. They still the same, even though one of them not in Kuching and another one busy with her studies in Kuching, they still gave me a surprise present. Last thursday night amelia suddenly came to my house when i'm studying for final exams, which is that stupid HMS 111. And it's funny that every year's birthday i received their present in the very same kind of situation where i'm busy studying for exams. Who ask me to be borne during the exam time? it's not that i'll get smarter if i'm borne at this time. *sigh*

Ok, this is the present they gave to me:

and guess what was inside this present?? hehe...

a swiss roll cake?? haha...it's a swiss roll cake made of towels..hahahahaha....

and i found chocolates(my favourite) inside my present. but i manage to took the photo of 3 pieces of chocolates coz the rest had been eaten by my mother and brother. LOLZZ!!!

and there is something funny here. why is that the contents of the present is on the top of the present? Well, the answer is...after i unwrapped the present i took all the things out and wrapped it up again bcoz i found that the present really looks pretty when it had a ribbon tied on it. Usually people gave presents which were simply wrapped. But if added a ribbon, it looks more pretty and meaningful and can show how "wu xim" your friend is. Well, of course if it's wrapped by themselves. I prefer making present by myself, coz it will be more meaningful and can show how important my heart and friendship from me to friends through DIY presents. LOLZ!!!

Today, i kena tricked and bullied by all the dancesport club's members. They sengaja scolded me for doing the wrong moves and keep asking me to do it all over again for several times. At that moment i was almost wana pour all my tears out. But luckily they ended it before i was really gonna cry. haha. They didn't saw my almost cry face lah...but the Miss President(err...not refer to SAMS but Dancesport Club...XD) said she really cannot tahan when saw me still can tahan them scolded me and asking me to do everything all over again. Ok, that's not it. After they finish the Happy Birthday song, they asked me to dance in the middle of the circle where they all circled me up. walao....really teruk lah at that moment. coz i was shocked and a bit angry because they tricked me. then after that asking me to dance kok...what the heck....

So friends, please don't give this kind of surprises to me if you're planning to have one. I dislike this kind of surprise which i'm getting scolded and whatever for a few times before wishing me Happy Birthday. It's bcoz it really hurts a lot, as i'm a serious person, especially to the things that i'm really in it and put all my efforts in it just to do it better. And bcoz they did that my confidence was like dropping down bits by bits, as the finals is getting nearer than ever. So if wana give me surprise, please give it in a nice way, not in stepping on me till deep in the sea.

But still, really thanks a lot for giving that surprise, it still mean a lot to me. Really THANKS A LOT!!!!! hahahaha...coz it's hard for people to remember my birthday. At least still have you guys to celebrate with me. XD

Why I choose E & E Engineering?

2007-11-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

Hmm....after i've done with that stupid report, i was thinking, why do i choose to study E & E Engineering again? I think i have lost the main objectives for me to come to swinburne to take E & E Engineering instead of bussiness courses.

I see a lot of my friends around me seems to know very well to the choices they had made. Unfortunately, I'm the one who had lost deep in the dark and wicked forest, which might get killed at anytime. Inside this forest, I was very scared, exhausted and frustrated. I don't know when can i walk out from this forest, I don't know when will be the end of me, i don't know anything. I'm totally lost the track. I can't find the road anymore.

I feel like giving up. Should I?...Haiz....

Ciara - Get Up ft. Chamillionaire

2007-11-11T12:29:00.000+08:00

Happiness??...oh well.....^^

2007-11-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

FINALLY~~~~~ autoCAD works done!!! Presentation done!!! Just left professional engineering report and programming interview haven't done. Next week got E & M and autoCAD tests kok... @.@" haiz...frustrated....

Actually i'm not a tough girl. I may look as i'm strong and tough but actually not as tough as what you think. Deep inside me i'm a very weak person who gets hurt easily. Sometimes i need help but i don't know who should i ask for. Sometimes i need a shelter so that i can hide under it when i'm tired. Sometimes when i'm in the dark, i don't know what should i do, as there is no lights lead me. That's why i need to search for it.

I may be a bad-tempered person who goes mad easily. But no matter how angry i am, i still stay where i was. I don't like the arguements, i don't like to hear irritating words which can hurts me bad, i don't want the distance between humans getting further and further away. That's why i always lose in argueing with others. Yea...i'm angry inside of me but what can i do? Even though it's other's fault but i still take it as my fault. What's the point of argue or fighting over a small thing when you are losing the trust and love of others in return? Somehow, i like when people is happy. When they are happy, no matter how bad myself being hurts, i still smile to them. Smile can bring happiness to everyone. This is true, from what my secondary school's teachers said. I still remember every early in the morning i walk around the school compound for no reason, and everytime i'll met some of my teachers. And, i'll smile to them and greeted them. Instantly, their mood became good already from bad mood. I still remember my teacher used to say that she likes my smile, because of my smile that every morning she gets good mood even though she go to school with bad mood. At that time i was really happy, i'm happy that i can cheer up the others. So, i always keep up my smile even when i meet with others.

My real happiness came from friends. That's why i like to stick with friends. When there's friends, there's happiness for me. I like to chat and laugh a lot with friends, play around crazily with them.... The only thing i'm scared of is being dumped by friends, meanings...i'm alone. haha!!

Okiez....enough with all this craps....got to go for dance practice. Hope i can manage to mastered all the moves. Dream to achieve! Gambate!!! LOLZZZ!!!!

My favourite character in Bleach!!

2007-11-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

Yoruichi Shihouin is one of the female character i like the most in Bleach, because she is a dark-skinned woman who is same as me. LOLZZ!!! She is well-knownde as Goddess of Flash. She had unique skills which is Shunko and Shunpo, but she tends to avoid battles, preferring to help after a fight is over, but she will step in if she thinks her side cannot win. She used to be a commander of a special forces in Soul Society. And of course, inside Bleach, i think that she's the most pretty girl among the rest. Hehe. Some more she can even transform herself into cat form and at the same time she can hide her reiatsu so that no one, even the shinigami from Soul Society cannot find her. As a cat, Yoruichi can still channel spiritual power and move with incredible speeds, though she is physically limited by the form. She had no zanpakuto so far of what i've watched, mostly she fight using hand to hand combat, shunkō and flash steps. She is incredible. So, i hope i have a chance to become her in the next year cosplay, only if...i have chance la...LOLZZ!!!

Hyorinmaru's shikai

Hyorinmaru's bankai

Then, the favourite male character i like in Bleach whould be Toshiro Hitsugaya. The main reason i like him so much because he is SO SO SO cute!!! Even though he just a young boy with white hair, which his nickname was 'Whitey', he had matured thoughts, always do or think stuffs seriously while he hate people acting childish. He is the shinigami of the 10th Division. Therefore, he is the youngest captain in the Soul Society. His special power focus on water and ice(which also suuit his white hair, lolzz!!). His zanpakuto is Hyorinmaru.

Hyōrinmaru's shikai command is "sit upon the frosted heavens" (霜天に坐せ, sōten ni zase). Hyōrinmaru is the strongest of all water-ice element zanpakutō in Soul Society. In its shikai, Hyōrinmaru itself remains the same, but gains a crescent-shaped blade attached to the hilt by a chain. Hyōrinmaru allows Hitsugaya to control water and ice. His slashes create an immense amount of spirit power which overflows from the tip of the blade, creating a flow of ice shaped like a Chinese dragon. The dragon flies at opponents and instantly freezes anything it touches. The chain-blade also freezes anything Hitsugaya traps with it.

Hyōrinmaru's bankai, named Daiguren Hyōrinmaru (大紅蓮氷輪丸, lit. Great Crimson Lotus Ice Ring, Viz: Great Roaring Coldly Shining Moon), causes ice to flow from Hyōrinmaru onto Hitsugaya, forming into two large wings and a tail. Ice also forms into a dragon's head around his sword hand, encasing it up to the hilt; which is in the shape of an eight-pointed star. His left arm is covered fully until the wrist where it then spans into claws, leaving his hand and fingers free. Hitsugaya's feet are encased in ice in a similar manner to his left hand. Additionally, his wings are capable of folding around him to serve as ice shields. Three "flowers" of ice, shaped similarly to the guard of his zanpakutō, are also created behind Hitsugaya with four petals each, which melt away as Hitsugaya attacks.

Hyorinmaru's bankai has two special technique, 1st is the "dragon hail flower" which freezes any enemy Hitsugaya stabs, locking them into a cocoon of ice and freezing them to the core. Once frozen, Hitsugaya can shatter his opponent. 2nd is the "thousand years ice prison" which forms a multitude of ice pillars using the moisture in the atmosphere. These pillars then envelop the enemy.

The second favourite male character is Byakuya Kuchiki. He is really cool, i mean you see his face, as like he doesn't care about anything but deep inside his heart he cares so much of his adopted sister, which is also his sister-in-law, Rukia Kuchiki. He is the 6th Division shinigami captain. Byakuya is an expert in flash steps, although he could never beat Goddess of Flash Yoruichi Shihouin. However, his favourite flash technique is senka, a flash step combined with a spin to quickly move behind the enemy, followed by a strike aimed to destroying the saketsu chain and the hakusui soul sleep with a single thrust.

Senbonzakura's shikai

Senbonzakura's bankai

The most incredible things about Byakuya is his zanpakuto called Senbonzakura(a thousand cherry blossom). Byakuya's bankai named Senbonzakura Kageyoshi (千本桜景厳, lit. Vibrant Display of the Thousand Cherry Blossoms), is essentially a much larger version of Senbonzakura's shikai. To activate it, Byakuya drops his sword. The sword passes through the ground and two rows of giant blades rise up from the ground behind Byakuya. These then scatter into a million tiny blades. The number of blades is great enough that Byakuya can use them for defense as well as offense. He commonly forms them into large masses of blades to crush opponents.

Senbonzakura's bankai has two extra forms, achieved by arranging the blades in different patterns. The first is "scene of a massacre", which unites the scattered petals into complete swords that form four rows around Byakuya and his opponent. While Byakuya can control these swords as he does his regular blades, he usually attacks with just one in hand. After immobilizing an opponent, he can call in the other blades to hit them while they're trapped. He can also use all the blades at once for one immensely powerful strike. The second form is "final scene", which condenses every tiny blade into a single sword to drastically increase its cutting power. The blade appears bright white, earning it the name "white imperial sword". Byakuya also grows pure white wings and a halo-like circle in the back, both made of spiritual power. It is unknown whether these wings are merely an aesthetic effect or if they can be used to fly.

So, i know most people already know about them. I'm just writing something into my blog only. haha...

finally it's friday

2007-11-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

What a sucking week i have...finally it's friday, at least i can had a rest, even though it's not 'totally' relaxing, as there still lots of things that need to be done before the final exam comes.
Today is the deadline of the programming assignment submission. I was so stress at the moment, i thought that i would submit the half program of it without any other files. Luckily Ian, the Miss President of SAMS pop out to save me. LOLZZ!!! No lah....actually his intension is not saving me but busy doing his own stuffs. But don't know why it turns out to became my saver in doing the programming assignment in 1 1/2 hours. Haha! Well, he's even more kolian when me and Angel calling for his help up and down non-stop. Memang kolian....haha!! Well, i'm very glad that about his appearance in the right time, but in the same time, i felt so sorry for him to know me, as i always gave troubles(i mean asking for his help) to him. haha...Maybe God must have send you to help me when i needed help from Him. lolz...but still THANKS A LOT YA, IAN!!! ^^

By the way, the whole afternoon i stayed inside the computer lab, frustrated and feels like gonna get explode by that sucking programming. However, that's not the main point that i want to talk about. Before that, i just wondering, do guys act differ when they saw pretty girls around? Ok, there is a guy who sat besides Angel, actually i didn't really notice his appearance until he suddenly ask me to look after his sit while he goes out for a while. Ok, so i helped him lor. When he was away, i use his computer instead. lolz...and then he came back, acting a bit paiseh paiseh like that, so i ask him to wait for a while, but instead he say he goes out for a while again and let me use the computer. Then, after that he cames back and just stood behind me without notifying me, but of course i know he was there. So i just give back his sit lor. Then his hp rang, h answered. walao eh~~~~ the way he talks to his hp is so so so much different from the way he talks to me. He talks loud and a bit rough in his hp but talks gently to me. Even after he finish using the computer he let me use it, gentlemanly. walao eh~~~ people usually say girls had two faces, but now i think that guys also the same. LOLZZZ!!!!

ok, i'll be back again.

Prom Prom Prom...what so ever...

2007-10-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

Prom Night...which will be held on tomorrow night, at Banquet. At first, i was being wanted to perform a dance for it. But in the end tidak jadi sudah...this so making me piss off...ok, that's one. Secondly, they keep asking me to go for Prom Night. what the....what actually were they thinking? What for i go there when i'm not performing? What for i were asked to be someone's partner? Then, one person said, it's for exposure, socializing, public relations and what so ever. But for what purpose to become popular in campus for the rest of the days in campus?

Prom Night, makes me remind of my first Swinburne Prom Night during 2005. I know you guys were thinking why would i attend Prom Night when i'm not studying in foundation at Swinburne. Well, at that time the Prom Night were held at Crown Plaza. That Prom Night really looks so high class and glamorous. And i was invited by a guy friend to be his partner. Actually, i have some feelings for that guy at that time. Unfortunately he went back to his hometown now and study there. That's a sweet memories, when i was in a relationship problem. About this story, i'll update with all of you next time. hehe.

However, right now i really not interested in any Prom Night anymore. It's not important whether you're invited by a guy or not, 'cause those are just a fairy tale about Cinderella. There won't be any prince pop out and ask you to be his partner for the night and dancing the whole night with you, even though that's every girls dreams. Dreams versus Reality, Reality always wins. So? We have to accept what the reality is, don't always go dream off something that would not be yours forever. That's what i've learnt from my past.

That's all for now la...hehe. Gotta rush all my assignments. Sickening assignments...